*Batteries Not Included

CATEGORY: Pseudo-Religion, Bunko

DIVISION: Products

NOTE: Modern Evil will be offering a Special Discount and Rush Delivery on this product this fall, just in time for the festive Halloween season.

Impress Your Friends. Zap Loved Ones. And order soon - Don't Be Left Out.









Police Seize Magic Trick From Preacher

Tue Jul 10, 8:49 AM ET

Ugandan police are holding a Ghanaian preacher over a stage magic device they fear may dupe people into believing they have experienced miracles.

Customs officials seized the Electric Touch device -- which magicians use to give small electric shocks to volunteers -- from "Prophet" Obiri Yeboah at the airport last week, the state owned New Vision daily reported Tuesday.

The pastor heads one of many Pentecostal churches in Uganda, receiving large sums of money from congregations seeking miracle cures for diseases or help with financial problems.

The Electric Touch device is usually sold in magic shops alongside card tricks, magic coins and disappearing balls.

"With a simple touch, make a fluorescent bulb glow on and off at your command, make confetti move, charge a spoon and watch as it shocks a volunteer!" says one online magic shop selling the device.

"People could be duped to think it is a miracle," the New Vision quoted Civil Aviation Authority security chief Herman Owomugisha as saying.

Officials are worried about the proliferation of "miracle" churches in Uganda, many of which claim to cure HIV/AIDS.

Killer Ghost Terrorizes Village

CATEGORY: Killer Ghost, Evil Spell

DIVISION: Products

NOTE: By Fall '07, Modern Evil will announce a line of services designed to help people in these types of situations - specifically regarding evil spells and their consequences.











Village School Under Evil Spell

Statesman News Service

DHENKANAL, July 6: Superstition has caused panic among the school children at the Jagannathpur gram panchayat as the presence of a ghost, at the Kageilo Janata School spread like wild fire, with the villagers speculating that the ghost is that of a child.

A team of doctors and the district inspector has visited the school. But the efforts to convince people have failed, and most of the villagers are convinced about the presence of the killer ghost.

According to them one student has died and four others have been hospitalized due to the evil spell cast by the ghost. Priyabrata Samal, a student of class VII went out to urinate and complained of reeling and eventually fell down. He was rushed to the hospital, but died on the way on Monday, the villagers narrated.

The very next day Saroj Das who used to sit beside Samal showed similar symptoms, but recovered, while a third boy Satyabrata Samal has also fallen unconscious.

The doctors who visited the school failed to find any outbreak of disease in the area. The district inspector of schools Mr Mayadhar Pany said that he too had visited the school.

He admitted that the villagers are firmly believing in the presence of the apparition.

The local administration has been trying to dispel such baseless apprehensions.

It has also undertaken tests of the tubewell water to find out whether the water has been contaminated or not. Study at the school has been hampered because of the rumor that has gained wide credence.

Insurable Interests are Everywhere

CATEGORY: Death Insurance, Secret, Law Suit

DIVISION: Products

NOTE: Breaking the waves as usual is WalMart, by taking out life insurance policies on their employees without their employees knowledge or consent. Fantastic! We at Modern Evil believe this is a wonderful new revenue stream and can be applied to every business.

By the fall, we will provide an easy Do-It-Yourself life insurance kit called "Insurable Interests", complete with a registered insurance company, so that everyone can take out life insurance policies on their employees, strangers, or anyone.








Husband Files 'Dead Peasant' Suit Against Wal-Mart for Collecting Insurance in Spouse's Death

By Emanuella Grinberg

Court TV

When Karen Armatrout died of cancer in 1997, her husband, Richard, collected a modest amount in life insurance benefits from her employer, Wal-Mart.

But Armatrout claims that, unbeknownst to him, Wal-Mart also collected on a life insurance policy, one the company took out on Karen Armatrout years before without her knowledge.

This week, Armatrout filed a class-action complaint seeking what his lawyers estimate might be $80,000 in benefits that Wal-Mart supposedly collected "in bad faith" on a corporate-owned life insurance policy.

Armatrout's "dead peasant" suit, filed Wednesday in Tampa, Fla.'s U.S. District Court, accuses Wal-Mart ofmaking money off her death without having a valid claim to her estate.

Typically, such a stake, known as an "insurable interest," is reserved for individuals so closely connected to the person insured that he or she would suffer significant financial damage if the person died.

The complaint also charges that the Arkansas-based corporation misappropriated Karen Armatrout's name and personal information for the purposes of taking out the policy.

"Wal-Mart and the insurers used employees' private information to buy and sell policies," Armatrout's Texas attorney, Mike D. Myers, told CourtTVnews.com. "As matter of public policy, Wal-Mart should not be permitted to keep the policy's benefits because it did not have the necessary insurable interest in the lives of its rank-and-file employees to warrant being a beneficiary."

From 1993 to 1998, Wal-Mart was not alone in reaping the tax benefits associated with corporate-owned life insurance, which came to be known by critics as "dead peasant" insurance, based on a character in Nikolai Gogol's "Dead Souls" who buys up the contracts of recently deceased serfs.

Lawyers for Armatrout, who say that Wal-Mart took out such policies on 350,000 "rank and file" employees like Karen Armatrout during that time, have also participated in lawsuits against Golden Corral, Winn Dixie and Camelot Music.

The attorneys, who have brought three identical lawsuits against Wal-Mart in Texas, Oklahoma and Louisiana, say the company made use of favorable tax regulations in Georgia, which allowed the company to take out corporate-owned life insurance policies without the employees' knowledge.

Wal-Mart settled the suits in Texas and Oklahoma, where the company paid back 100 percent of the benefits, amounting to just over $5 million.

Along with Armatrout's case in Florida, another suit is pending in Louisiana.

In the previous cases, Wal-Mart attempted to argue that Georgia law applied because that was where the policies were purchased and paid out. But the courts found that the proper venue for deciding whether Wal-Mart had an insurable interest was thedeceased's state of residence.

Only six states, Delaware, Georgia, New Jersey, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Vermont, allow companies to take out life insurance policies on their employees without notifying them. Most states have laws requiring that companies advise their employees and seek their consent before purchasing the policies.

Myers says he is hopeful that the precedents set in the other cases bode well for the Florida case, where he is seeking class-action certification for an estimated 80 plaintiffs in addition to Armatrout.

"I'd rather be where we are now rather than after losing three in a row," Myers said.

Representatives for Wal-Mart did not return calls for comment.

"Priest" Brand Perfumes

CATEGORY: Religious Sales, Iconography

DIVISION: Products

COMMENTARY: Why didn't we think of this?! A "Priest" brand! Clothing, gear, consumables - the works! Taking something so common, so omnipresent in world culture, and trademarking it so that you can make a killing on the free market. This is such a good idea Father Jankowski that we'll race you to it.











Priest Plans His Own Perfumes

Tue Jul 3, 2007 9:41AM EDT

WARSAW (Reuters) - A prominent Polish cleric known for preaching against communism and for his anti-Semitic remarks said on Tuesday he planned to launch perfumes, clothing and cafes branded with his image.

Father Henryk Jankowski took part in strikes which led to the end of communism in 1989 as part of Solidarity movement. He was later suspended from preaching for a year after insulting remarks about Jews.

Setting out his plans, Jankowski told the daily Dziennik newspaper that his initiative would "do everyone good."

"I am for it as long as it serves a good purpose. If necessary I will also sing and dance," he said.

The money from the initiative would go to the "Father Henryk Jankowski Institute," which says it supports charities and social projects.

Jankowski, who already has a wine branded with his image under the name "Monsignore," said he would be on the panel for "castings" of waitresses for the 16 cafes he plans to open in major Polish cities.

Jankowski is admired by many Catholics for his role in supporting Solidarity.

The Validity of a Blood Promise

CATEGORY: Blood Pact, Business Contract

DIVISION: Modern Evil, Legal

NOTE: Whether signed in blood, sweat, tears, ink or any other marking fluid, a contract is a contract. We encourage the plantiff in this case to contact us as soon as possible for further legal recourse.

Judge: Blood Promise Can't Be Enforced

Tue Jun 26, 4:46 PM ET

SANTA ANA, Calif. - A Nietzsche-quoting judge said a promise penned in blood by a businessman was not an enforceable contract. Superior Court Judge Corey S. Cramin ruled Monday that Stephen Son could not be forced to repay Kim Jin-soo more than $140,000 that Kim provided to Son's companies, not to Son himself.

Son punctured his finger and drafted the promise in a restaurant after his companies accepted cash from Kim but failed to turn a profit.

Son was not required to guarantee those transactions, the judge said.

"Blood is the worst of all testimonies to the truth," Cramin said, paraphrasing German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche.

Kim's attorney, Richard Radcliffe, said his client might appeal.

"We think the blood speaks for itself," he said.

The lawsuit and purported contract dealt with more than $100,000 that Kim invested in a company run by Son in April 2003, when the two lived in Korea.

Later, Kim lent $40,000 to a second Son company in California.

The blood promise was written in October 2004 after the two men had moved to California

It read, "Sir, forgive me. Because of my deeds, you have suffered financially. I will repay you to the best of my ability," according to court filings.

Kim sued in January 2006.