Fake Penis Felony

CATEGORY: Felony, Fake Penis, Drug Test

DIVISION: Modern Evil Products

NOTE: Shooting bottles in the woods or target practice on the range is OK, but take your loaded weapon into a bank and wave it around - now, you've got problems. A fake penis works the same way. Waggle it happily at a party or shoot ketchup through it in the privacy of your own home - it's all good. But use it to subvert drug tests and you'll be locked up where the waggle parties are nasty.



















H.B. Man Pleads Guilty to Selling Fake Penis to Cheat Drug Tests

Reports: Robert Dennis Catalano helped sell Whizzinator, Yellow River devices, designed to thwart drug tests.

By ANNIE BURRIS

A Huntington Beach man pleaded guilty before a U.S. District Court in Pittsburgh this week to selling products such as the Whizzinator, which has a prosthetic penis to help people cheat workplace drug tests, according to published reports.

Robert Dennis Catalano, 62, of Huntington Beach; George W. Wills, 65, of San Pedro; and their company Puck Technology Inc., in Signal Hill, pleaded guilty Monday to conspiracy to defraud the government and conspiracy to sell drug paraphernalia, according to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.

Contraptions called the Whizzinator, Yellow River and Number 1 sold by the company allowed men and women to simulate urination in order to register a false negative during testing, the Review said.

The Whizzinator attracted the attention of Congress in 2005 when a National Football League player tried to cheat a drug test. Then-Minnesota Vikings running back Onterrio Smith was detained at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport with the prosthetic and a packet of dehydrated urine. A House subcommittee held a hearing but no action was ever taken, reports said.

Actor Tom Sizemore also was caught with one after he attempted to evade drug tests while on probation, reports said.

Company website pucktechnology.wbx-staging.com, which is still online, said "The Whizzinator is an easy to conceal, easy to use urinating device with a very realistic prosthetic penis. It is designed to be comfortably worn as an undergarment for extended periods of time and has been extensively tested and proven to work under real-life conditions."

The devices were sold from October 2005 through May 2008. If convicted, Catalano and Wills could face up to eight years in prison and a fine of $500,000, reports said.

As part of the investigation, undercover purchases of the products were made on Sept. 8, 2006, and Feb. 7, 2007. The company has stopped operating, according to the paper.

Sentencing is scheduled for Feb. 20 before U.S. District Judge David S. Cercone, reports said.