FROM THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT:

As a privately held company, Modern Evil is not required to publicly report on any of its operations or activities. This blog is a faint reflection of our interests and opinions. Thank you.

~ Dr. Archibald T. Staph, Ph.D, President

14.11.08

Leave All Unwanted Kids in Nebraska

CATEGORY: Abandonment, Children, Nebraska

DIVISION: Modern Evil

COMMENT: There are only weeks left, maybe days, before Nebraska changes their Safe Haven Law thereby closing the loophole on legal child abandonment. If you've got an unwanted child of any age, then act now! Dump them at any hospital in Nebraska and run! Out of state drop-offs welcome.












Children Left Under Nebraska's Safe-Haven Law

By The Associated Press

Nebraska's safe-haven law, which doesn't have a specified age limit, lets parents abandon their children at a hospital without fear of prosecution.

Since it went into effect July 18, it has been used to drop off 33 children.

There have been six 17-year-olds, two 16-year-olds, six 15-year-olds, three 14-year-olds, three 13-year-olds, three 12-year-olds, five 11-year-olds, one 9-year-old, one 8-year-old, one 7-year-old, one 6-year-old and one 1-year-old. Five were from out of state.


34th Child Abandoned Under Nebraska's Safe-Haven Law

By The Associated Press

OMAHA, Neb. (AP) — A 5-year-old boy has been dropped off at an Omaha, Neb., hospital only a day before the state Legislature begins a meeting to change the state's safe-haven law.

The state Department of Health and Human Services said Friday the boy was left at Immanuel Medical Center about 9 p.m. Thursday. He's from Sarpy County near Omaha.

Nebraska's safe-haven law was intended to protect unwanted newborns from being abandoned, but unlike similar laws in other states, Nebraska's doesn't include an age limit.

The Legislature opens a rare special session Friday afternoon to change the law and add an age limit.

As of Friday, 34 children have been abandoned under the law. Five have been from out of state.

13.11.08

Party Like It's the End of the World

CATEGORY: Crisis, Drill, Death, Party

DIVISION: Modern Evil

EDITORIAL: While Californians practice what to do in an earthquake to survive, we would also encourage them to practice what to do if they don't survive or know they're going to be dead soon. Going out in style is making the best of a bad situation. And in that west-coast spirit, Earthquake Parties are the next natural evolution in tragedy preparedness. Having a solid plan for your demise is just good living.





















Ready, Set, Shake: California Puts on Quake Drill

LOS ANGELES — Californians dropped to the ground, covered their heads and held onto the furniture Thursday for a mock "Big One" - an earthquake drill billed as the largest in U.S. history and aimed at testing everyone from state leaders to students who donned fake blood to play victim.

At exactly 10 a.m., television news programs announced there was an earthquake disaster drill, then cut to cameras in school classrooms showing children ducking under their desks and holding onto them. After about a minute, the drill moved into aftermath mode, with people portraying quake victims.

The exercise was based on a hypothetical magnitude-7.8 temblor that ruptures the southern San Andreas Fault _ an event that scientists call the feared "Big One." Such a quake would cause 1,800 deaths and $200 billion in damage, researchers estimate.

Local governments, emergency responders, schools, hospitals, churches, businesses and residents were taking part. Organizers said some 5 million people had signed up to participate.

"We're trying to make it a communal event," U.S. Geological Survey seismologist Lucy Jones, who helped create the crisis scenario, said before the event.

The minimum participation calls for people to dive for safety. Firefighters and other emergency responders are staging full-scale exercises complete with search-and-rescue missions and medical triaging of people posing as casualty victims.

Shortly before the fake quake struck, students at Bishop Alemany High School in the Mission Hills area lined up to receive makeup that would turn them into simulated quake victims.

12.11.08

My Warhol

CATEGORY: Narcissism, Face, Self-Statues

DIVISION: Modern Evil Products

COMMENT: The repetitive image was the artistic staple that made Warhol,... well, Warhol. The Marilyns, the Elvises - if it was an icon, it got repeated. Now the narcissistic among us can combine Warhol and self-adoration in one wonderful service - ThatsMyFace.com. With a couple of pictures of your head, you can see yourself at 20, 40, 60, or 260! Best of all is their FaceStatue - a photo-realistic 3D statue of your head. And six months from now, every self-obsessed celebrity/artist will fill galleries with signed cranial effigies of every color imaginable at $10K a pop. Damn you and your bejewelled $$$ skull Damien Hirst!











ThatsMyFace offers free online facial analysis as well as FaceStatues, which are glass or plastic statuettes custom-made from your facial profile.

How it Works : Take a frontal and profile photo of your face, upload it to our servers and within a few hours we'll generate your facial profile which includes:

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What's a FaceStatue?

Once you've created your own facial profile, we can recreate your face or its caricature as a true-to-life 3D replica. Using patent-pending 3D modeling techniques previously reserved to film studios and professional 3D designers, as well as cutting-edge manufacturing technologies pioneered by the car prototyping industry, ThatsMyFace can bring you life-like FaceStatues of your face to your doorstep.

11.11.08

Death Diamonds and Necro-Knick-Knacks

CATEGORY: Jewelry, Death, Remembrance

DIVISION: Modern Evil Products

EDITORIAL: What can't you create out of a dead body?! Really, that's the shorter list. So in the spirit of embalming, The Modern Evil Company announces an entire line of lucite-based products: Necro-Knick-Knacks. From paperweights to picture frames, Necro-Knick-Knacks are those indispensable gadgets that are handy for the home or office and do double-duty as death keepsakes. With a lifetime guarantee, you'll never forget where your loved ones are.
















What is a LifeGem?

The LifeGem is a certified, high-quality diamond created from the carbon of your loved one as a memorial to their unique life, or as a symbol of your personal and precious bond with another.

LifeGem diamonds are molecularly identical to natural diamonds found at any high-end jeweler. To qualify as diamonds, they must have the exact same brilliance, fire, and hardness (the hardest substance known) as diamonds from the earth, and of course, they do!

LifeGem diamonds are created individually from your specific carbon source in our patented process.

Whether you've lost a loved one or simply want to celebrate your love, the LifeGem diamond provides a way to embrace your loved one’s memory day by day. The LifeGem is the most unique and timeless tribute available for creating a testimony to their unique life.

Your LifeGem memorial will offer comfort and support when and where you need it, and provide a lasting memory that endures just as a diamond does.

10.11.08

There are Things We Won’t Do and Won’t Say

CATEGORY: Selling-Out, Morality, Popularity

DIVISION: Modern Evil

EDITORIAL: Deigning brands with human traits like morality is a must for people whose jobs depend on it. And to carry that thinking further, we know that every brand would sell their own grandmother if it meant dominating their respective industry. Market morality rules because greed is a universal, and still 'good' [thank you Mr.Gekko].



















Ads for Respected Brands Hit Racy Sites

Question: Is racy content simply becoming more acceptable for marketers given its popularity, or are negligent ad nets placing messages on sites many brands would rather avoid?

By Mike Shields

It’s questionable whether Procter & Gamble intended for preroll ads for its Tide, Cover Girl and Herbal Essences brands to run just prior to a recent video clip showing Playboy playmate Kendra Wilkinson flashing a breast at onlookers on TMZ.com. It also is highly doubtful that both HSBC and American Express deliberately ran banner ads within clicking distance of nude photos of High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens on the snarky celebrity-gossip blog What Would Tyler Durden Do? (WWTDD.com).

Yet, as celebrity slip-ups continue to serve as fodder for a slew of gossip sites and blogs, more mainstream brands are finding their way onto these sites, despite their often-racy content.

In recent weeks, ads for Days Inn and Samsung have popped up on the blog Egotastic!, known for its photos of underwear-shedding pop stars. Aside from ads for P&G brands, AOL’s considerably more PG-13 TMZ.com has sported banners from Wal-Mart and Verizon. Last Thursday, WWTDD, which revels in disparaging celebrities, carried promotional ads for NBC’s 30 Rock.

The big question is whether content of this variety is simply becoming more acceptable for marketers given its popularity, or whether negligent ad networks are placing messages on sites many brands would rather avoid. Both could be the case, said several media executives.

Digital buyers report that across several categories—particularly movie studios and products that target younger consumers—brands have come to terms with whatever reservations they might have once had about the content of such sites, as they simply cannot ignore the passionate following the sites have built.

“Overall, I see them as being very viable because the eyeballs have moved there and they are very powerful,” said David Goodrich, senior VP, West Coast digital director at Universal McCann. “These sites know how to border the gray area and not turn into full-fledged porn sites.”

Added Goodrich, “If I am Axe, yes. If I’m Johnson’s baby [products], I’d be hard-pressed. But if you are launching Superbad, you want to be in Perez.” He refers to Perez Hilton, the outrageous, celebrity-mocking/adoring blogger often credited with inventing the genre.

Henry Copeland, founder and CEO of BlogAds, which sells inventory on PerezHilton.com, said that because the site restricts profanity and nudity to certain sections, it has landed business from Chili’s, Samsung, even Microsoft. “You’re definitely seeing an evolution in attitudes,” he said. “Our whole society is becoming edgier.”

But some evidence suggests attitudes may be shifting. Nielsen Online reports that unique users for both PerezHilton.com and TMZ are down—by 22 and 11 percent, respectively, versus last year. Meanwhile, Yahoo!’s omg!, launched in June of last year, has roared past both those sites to take the lead in the entertainment category, attracting 13.3 million monthly unique users, nearly 4 million more than TMZ. The site credits its success to avoiding the nastier side of gossip.

“There are things we won’t do and won’t say,” said Yahoo! Entertainment general manager Sibyl Goldman, who heads omg!. “You won’t ever see starlets without their underpants. You won’t see us dig up legal documents. You can have fun and not be mean.” Goldman credits that approach with helping the site attract accounts including Nivea and Warner Bros.

While advertisers appear drawn to omg!’s softer touch, many predict brands will continue to open up to edgier celeb blogs, as long as they remain popular. “You go where pop culture is going,” said Jordan Bitterman, senior vp, media director at Digitas.

That said, Bitterman pointed to an emerging factor that could make marketers think twice about frivolous content: the economic crisis. “In this current economy,” he said, “you have to be completely mindful of what’s going on with people.”